Body and soul

I have just spent a night at the hospital after I got a call to say she had deteriorated. She is now on a syringe driver so should be pain free. I am sure she is - but there are times when she behaves as if she was in considerable distress. But I have come to the conclusion that she is not in disress from pain but from hallucinations.

Edna's body is still alive - but I feel her soul is elsewhere. Sitting watching someone die leads naturally to some philosophical thoughts. I couldn't say at what point her soul left her body - but the person lying on that bed now is NOT Edna. Between the dementia and the drugs

I got to the hospital just after 10 last night and left just after 7.00 this morning. I managed to doze a bit while I was there. I have had some more sleep this morning but will be be back at the hospital this afternoon - unless I get a message to say she has deteriorated/died.

I am trying to be practical and I have already got loads of paperwork from her flat. Somewhere among the mass of envelopes is (I hope) the details of her pre-paid funeral plan. The trouble is her dementia seems to have made her re-arrange her paperwork so many times that I dont have a clue where it is . I knew where it WAS - but it has been moved or maybe even thrown away if in her confusion she didn't recognise it for what it was - which is sadly all too possible.