Weekends

I am feeling very resentful that I cant have a weekend free of Edna without making lots of arrangments. I dont know yet when I will go and see her this weekend. Tomorrow is Alan's birthday and I am worried she will be brooding. Bit I dont know whether I will do better to go today, or tomorrow. She may not have realised the date and if I go on his borthday it may remind of things she would prefer to forget.

I sometimes feel I cant do right for doing wrong.

It is very early for a Saturday so I have time to think and plan hoe best to tackle the weekend around my own domestic issues.

I feel guilty that apart from one phobe call I havent contacted her since last weekend. Ideally I feel I need to see her twice a week - but she gets upset and woprried about me going over so often. the trouble is I find phone calls to her tricky. I am always half expecting her to say something that takes me over. But that is far more disruptive to life than me going over straight from work.

I am not thinking quite straught at the moemnt because I am close to othet painful anniversaries not just Alan's birthday.

I have a funny feeling July is going to be a difficult month and that Edna is going to need me a lot.