Post visit primal scream

I am siting here eating a double chocolate chip muffin. That is my therapy to stop me giving vent to an actual primal scream. The visit was stressful to put it mildly

When I got there she was upset and complained that the staff wouldn't let her go to the toilet. It seems she has been asking to be taken every 15 minutes - which isnt practical. I think the problem is she remembers about the accident she had on her first day at West Heath. And she is so anxious to avoid that all she is thinking about is making sure she asks to go in time. Of course this means she is constantly thinking about whether she needs the loo - with the result that she feels as if she does - even if she doesn't. At least my visit distracted her. She didnt ask to go once while I was there.

I checked on her medication and she has been having her Rivastigmine. So the deterioration is real - and very frightening. I must ring Dr Ostler tomorrow and let her know Edna is in hospital. I may be able to get some sort of advice from her about whether this means she needs an increase in dose or if indeed anything can be done .

I suspect most of what she told me during the visit was fantasy/delusion/displaced memory /hallucination. But once we got over the issue of the toilet (and when I sided with the nurses I was not popular) she was happy enough.

At one point she said she didnt have any idea what was going to happen to her. It felt very reminiscnet of Mum asking me if I knew what was wrong with her tha last time I saw her -one week before she died.

Not a nice thought.