Friday, 10 April 2009

Dreary reflection

Its a very dreary and grey day today. And I came away from the hospital feeling VERY down. That was partly because the lady in the bed opposite died just before I got there.

We drew up a shopping list for me to do on onday to set up her flat for her discharge on Tuesday (please please please don't let it be delayed!!) When I tried to reign her enthusiam in ( she wanted 1lb of tomatoes!) I got accused of taking over and a few moments later she was saying I had spoiled it for her. She also got a bit doiwn when we were discussing fruit saying she liked to see applies before she bought them. But I did point out that I was happy to take her shopping soi she COULD chose her own.

She got very confused (and got me very confused at one point) about the season . It was all to do with the availability of worcester apples and she said they were getting ready for Christmas (on the ward? or did she think she was at Fosters? ) That then led into the fact that the ward (definitley the ward) were mucking around with the mealtimes so they were having supper at breakfast. It isnt the first time she has had this delusion - but I can't see what would trigger it. Most times I can sort of understand how she gets her ideas. But today she really had me wondering.

I am frightened what is going to happen if she gets worse - or should that be when she gets worse? I am sitting here playing ' what if' games trying to imagine how things will go in the future - and its not a comfortable experience. I guess its the imminent discharge that has got me thinking. This time next week she will be home and I should be getting an idea about how it is all going to work out. But the waiting is getting to me

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