Mrs Hyde back again?

I went to see Edna today partly to give her the receipt to prove I had paid her telephone bill and partly just to see her.

The first thing that happened was Alma asked me please to try and persuade her NOT to get dressed before the girls go in in the morning becasue they are worried about her personal hygiene and whether she is washing. I did my best. I didnt say Alma has asked me to talk to her but I managed to work the converstaion round to a discussion of what the girls did in the morning and suggested that for the rest of this week at least she should let them wash and dress her and see if she felt better during the day. My logic for this is that stuggling to get dressed makes her feel porly. All I can do is see what happens. According to Edna she is due to have a shower tomorrow anyway. This was news to Alma I might add.

The rest of the visit was vaguely disturbing. She apparently doesnt remember that she changed her will after Alan died and that I am now keeping it for her. She was also talking about a bank account that no-one knew about except her. When I reminded her I knew all about both Lloyds and Natwest she was clearly surprised and seemed concerned that I was saying I knew about her 2 Lloyds accounts. When I reminded her that she had signed the forms to enable me to manage her accounts, again she clearly did not remember it.

This is very worrying not because it is further evidence of her problem, but because it makes me feel very vulnerable to accusations of manipulation and trying to defraud her. Luckily during the course of our chat she did make it clear she was happy I was trying to help her. 'I know your OK - its everyone else I'm worried about'

At one point she didnt beleive she was 87 and clearly had no idea what day of the week it was.

I also got the feeling that some of the stuff she was telling about what she had and eaten recently wasnt accurate - but I have no easy way to check that.

She had another rant about being treated like a child. She knew (or seemed to know) that the consultant would be going to see her to review how she was getting on with the Exelon in capsule form. She asked me who had told me - and I said the district nurses. She then had a bit of arant about how they should have told her. I did try to get her to see that they may have told her but she forgot, but she wasnt prepared to accept that.

Mrs Hyde seemed to be just below the surface ready to emerge if given the slightest chance. It was a worrying visit. I left feeling ready to burst into tears. But having managed to get myself energised and positive after a few very bad days, I am not going to let this get me down. I need to acknowledge the emotion, and learn what I need to learn from it.

That is really what I do in the blog. By writing things down I get insights that are sometimes very surprising but often very helpful.