Confusion

I am confused but thankfully do not think I have early dementia.

Finally 10 days after the psychiatrist recommended it, Edna has started treatment with the patches. She was still 'surmising' a lot today. On the occasions when I did try to correct her she showed signs of becoming grumpy. But one positive sign is she has said she will consider taking all help that is available, and was also considering going to a home for convalescance for a bit. She also didn't react unfavourably when I pointed out that she has been fine in hospital but run into problems at home. So today at least she was agreeable to the idea of help. I wonder what her attitude will be tomorrow?

But at the end of my visit she was exepressing doubts about the fact that I have access to her bank acccounts. It isn't tnat she thinks I am going to take her money (thank god!) and she knows she can't get to the bank. But she doesn't feel in control becasue she casn't manage her money herself. That thudding sound is me banging my head against a brick wall. I sometimes feel I can't do anything right. But I suppose it is a good sign that she has started talking about wanting to be in control.It has been some time since she has used that phrase.

I was annoyed about the long delay in getting the drug so have asked PALS to investigate what happened. I am sure it is a systemic failure in some way, and I do feel uncomfortable about setting Pals on my friuends and ex colleagues but 10 days was FAR too long.

It was during the talk with PALS that I became confused. I asked if they were up to date with Edna's case. They dsaid they were, but were very surprised when ~I mentioned dementia. All tney had picked up was the medical staff saying she was fantasising a lot. Maybe I am putting too much importance on the fcat that PALS didn't have the same diagnosis as I did. they are not medical people after all. But they hadn't even been given the dementia diagnosis.

I am also once again petrifed that she will be discharged without sufficient care and that I will be elft to pick up the peices as I have after every hospital admssion.But I am paranoid because doctors didn't pick up on the problems I was concerned about in earlier admissions - and the yo=yoing in and out has left me cyncial and sceptical. But I must remember this is a different team who specialise in elderly care.

Edna is still showing worrying signs of a lack of cognitive ability. She was having real problems filling in her menu again today. She ticked coronation chicken as one of her choices - and she doesn't like anything spicy. And she hadn't selected anything at all for one meal. One of the auxillaries helped her get it sorted out. Its when I see her unable to do simple things like that , thsat I despiar about how she will cope with her medication - escpecially her nebuliser - at home on her own. Unless the Rivastigmien has a miraculous effect her medication could be the determining factor in whether she can go back to Fosters or not. I really muct contact the social worker and have a talk about what help can be available for Edna if she is prepared to accept help.

I have located a source of professional help for me via the local Age concern office. I must ring her tomorrow as I still have no idea how to handle Edna.