A guilt trip

Today I ended up sorting out a skip to get rid of combined rubbish form Steve's and my house - mainly caused by all the renovation work at Steve's. I used that as an excuse to not visit Edna. I rang the ward and asked them to give her message - and emphasised they should tell her I was doing some stuff for Steve's house. Since Steve is still the absolute centre of her world I know she won't mind.

I've used it as an excuse because I couldn't face going into see her. Am I being selfish and uncaring or am I (as I hope) making time for myself to re-charge my batteries ready to face the next difficult conversation.

Tony said he didn't blame me. I know Steve won't blame me. But I am on guilt trip. I'm not going to change my mind about going in. I am too tired after helping to shift rubbish into the skip and doing gardening.