Sunday, 29 March 2009

Genuine confusion - or manipulation

I had a tricky visit today. She is still plainly in fantasy land some of the time, but she is clued up on the fact that she is going home, that she is going to have more carers etc. She even seems to accept that we cna't say for certian whether she will go home on Monday, or Tuesdayor even Wednesday (please God no later than Wednesday!!)

But it all got very tricky when she said her sleeping tablets had been stopped. I investigated and t turns out it was true - but the nurse (who has been on reglar nights) said she had slept OK. So was trying to explain to Edna why from a medical viewpoint the doctors would have stopped her Temazepam. It ended with her saying those fatal words in that fatal tone ' Well you're very cinvincing Sally' So I said I didnt want to argue and thast I was going to go. She then got upset and asked me NOT to go and said how lonely she was, how she doean't really trust anyone, did I have any idea how hard things had been for her. We parted as friends eventually but she was also showing signs of resistance to the idea of helpers. ' I don't weant to be coddled'

I really am not sure if the emotion was genuine or if she was trying to manipulate me.

One worrying event was that she cluuldn't use her inhaler. When I told the nurse she said they were going to get an Easibreathe for her. Whether that will delay things I don't know.

I feel bad about today. I lost patience with her and I shouldn't - but I am still not sure how much is her and how much is the dementia. I know I'm not feeling too well becasue of this cold - but I don't want to do anything that might upset her or make her worse.

But how can I do ANYTHING if she doesn't trust me? How can anyone do ANYTHING to help her if she isn't going to trust anyone?

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