I have spoken to Barbara and Tracy (feom the carers) and we are in agreement that the care package is working as well as Edna will let it work. Everyone agrees that Edna can't be forced into using the nebuliser or eating if she doesn't want to.
I have asked Tracy to ask the carer's to remind Edna about her appointment on Friday. I will remind her on Thursday evening and Friday morning and hopefully she wont say 'No-one told me'
I am not optimistic though.
I know that no-one else involved with Edna really knows that she just wants to die. I have mentioned it - but no-one is really listening to me. I know Edna feels no-one is reallylistening to her. Thats what I try to do - listen.
I dont feel overwhelmed by Edna today. In fact I feel very calm. If this is the result of the reiki training and self healing sessions then bring it on! Thats why I am not bothered by the fact that I dont feel I am being listened to or believed. It wont change anything whether I am beleived or not.
I know God is listening.
This whole experience is really making me think about the ethics involved and a patients right to self determination.
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