Getting help from the experts

Barbara the social worker is due to ring me tomorrow and I will be glad to speak to her because I feel I need her advice.

I know that Edna is NOT using her nebuliser. I am worried that she isn't eating much - but cant prove it. We had a minor spat about her shopping today and how I could presume to know more than SHE did about what she does and doesnt need bought. She still wants to keep as much control as she can.

But I am concerned she is losing any ability she might have to manage even the small things she still has control of. I discovered a mug put away in her cupboard still with sugar in the bottom. And her mug on the drainer also had sugar encrusted at the bottom. I am guessing Edna tried washing up and didn't see the sugar residue.

It is possible the carer's were very sloppy. That is on of the thimgs I need to check with Barbara. The other thing I need to check is how much we have the right to override her wishes. I dont want to force her to do things she doesn't want - but I dont want the line be crossed into neglect.

I came away feeling very emotional. Angry and upset. But I am not letting the emotion overwhelm me. Instead I am trying to listen to what the emotion is trying to tell me.

Dementia is a disease which steals a fundamental part of a person - their personaility. The personality may be very superficial - but it is the outemrnost part that is used to communicate with other poeple. And it is so easy to look at someone with dementia and think' What a waste - what is the point of their life' I know that is what gets to me.

But I realised today that this situation is almost certainly going to teach me something I need to know about myself, or other people. I dont know yet what - but I am confident that I will be able to use that knowledge/insight to help in some way in some situation in the future. Everything happens for a reason .

I can redeem what appears to be a pointless tragedy - by learning from it.