Hospital visit

I went to see her tonight at hospital. I realised she looked very gaunt, with sunken eyes . One eye seems to have an infection as it is very red. She has a sore on her arm that is covered by a dressing, and her chest is very rattly.

Physically she looks dreadful suddenly. hadn't really seen how sunk her eyes were before. It was probably because she didn't have a glasses on when I arrived. It was a nasty shock

Much as I expected, she didnt seem to remember a lot about the home visit - and she seemed unhappy about some of the decisions especially the removal of meals-on-wheels. She feels she is losinf control of her life. And sadly she is - but that is because she isn't in a state to really control things. On one level she does realise that - but oh how it grates on her.

She commented at one ppint that if Alan had behaved himself we wouldn;t be in this state now. I got no argument about that at all. At one point she was insisting that she could still make decisions and get rpivate care if she wnated it. At anoether point she was saying sh'ed move down to Devon to be near Len.

I think she is panicking about the situation.